One Size Does Fit All

I love this quote by the old school professional triathlete Scott Molina: "If it (triathlon) was all about weight then there'd be a scale instead of a finish line". When I was just starting out in endurance sports it gave me inspiration and some hope that as a Clydesdale (a male 200 pound plus athlete) I had a chance. I would never be able to make it to the Hawaii Ironman World Championships but I had a shot to compete.

                                                                                   

But a lot about triathlon is about size and weight. The clothes are tight and get tighter as a Clydesdale or Athena (a female 150 pound plus athlete). Not to mention that the price of those fancy biking jerseys and shorts increases as you size up. And then there is nutrition. Most coaches will tell you to drink so much fluids based on your size and sweat rate. If I did that, I would not be able to find a Fuel Belt big enough to hold the gallon and a half of the sports drink I would need. I quickly found out that much about triathlon is about weight.

Thankfully, that is not true with the race of faith in Jesus. Nowhere in the Bible is the faith race divided by weight classes or even age groups. Paul sets it up for us in Philippians 3:13 and 14. “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Professional, elite, age grouper or Clydesdale groups are meaningless with the Lord. First or last, all we need to do is stay focused on the goal of winning the prize that leads to eternal life.

At the finish line of life, Jesus’ arms are open wide and waiting. No age group, no weight classes, no asking about your nutrition or what kind of bike you rode. As Jesus was on the cross with his arms stretched out, they were open enough to accept anyone who asks. With Jesus, it is true that one size does fit all.

Not Absent

There is no question that the absence of a father figure in a child's life causes many problems that can linger into adulthood. There is a documentary that is coming out called Absent that explores the lack of a father figure in a child's life and the damage that it does. In the documentary, a rock star, a model and a boxing champ discuss the effects of the absence of a father on their lives. To see a trailer of the film, go to: http://www.absentmovie.com/
In the trailer, the "father wound" is mentioned as the root cause of the problem. It is the wound that a father leaves behind when he leaves the family behind. With that wound, there is a void that needs to be filled. Unfortunately it is being filled with drugs, under age sex, criminal behavior, broken relationships and broken hearts. 

So what can a stay at home father do? Personally, I need to make sure my girls know that I love them and that I accept them for who they are. Now, I have two adopted girls who are not biological siblings. There is a genetic component to how they will develop as children and adults. So that means that they will have different likes, dreams, personalities and a different way to show and accept love.

While I don't ever plan on leaving them, I do need to make sure that I don't leave small wounds. I tell them that I love them even if it is in places that others can hear me. I am holding them and show affection whenever and where ever. And, I think most importantly for a man, is to accept them for who they are. If they are girlie and want to wear a dress to Walmart, let them. Or if they want to dig in an ant hill, why not.

Guys, even if you are a stay at home dad, I challenge you to not be absent in your kids life. It will pay off when it matters most.

Finally Made It

I was grocery shopping this past week and had only one of the girls with me. I was just finishing up when I ran into another mom that I know pretty well. She is like a sister to me. We can tell each other guy-type, clean jokes without offending each other. She also cuts our families hair.

She was just starting her shopping and with me just about done, she was going over the contents of my cart. After we talked about what I would use this for or that for, we talked about other stay at home parent stuff like kids, school, mini vans and driving around SE Wisconsin like a lost cabbie.

She is a seasoned stay at home parent so I appreciate what wisdom she shares with me. I was telling her that my oldest daughter did get accepted to a private school for kindergarten and that my youngest will be going to preschool two days a week in another city. She looked at me underneath her hairstylist hairdo and said the words that I longed to her from another stay at home mom.

"Sounds like you are now a real stay at home dad."

I finally made it.

What do you do for fun dad?

The other day my oldest daughter asked me what I like to do for fun. At the time I was getting the girls lunch and doing the dishes that were left in the sink from the night before and from the morning breakfast. I was in the process of thinking about the question and out from underneath her PB&J, she blurts out "I bet you like doing the dishes for fun."

After explaining to her that I don't do the dishes for fun, I then had to explain that I do the dishes, the laundry, the cleaning, the hollering and the loving because that is my job. I don't go to work like some dads. I get out of bed and I'm already at work. I think that she started to understand that it is not always the dad that stays home. Ah....this is a fun age.

It got me thinking about a few things. One, how I got here. Not how I was born and got to SE Wisconsin. But, how I got to be a stay at home dad. That is a subject for another time. The other thing I thought of was, what do I do for fun? I have to say that I don't define fun as I had pre-kids.

There are things that I enjoy doing but it is hard to do that with two little ones tagging along. But, what I realized is that I enjoy the things that they get enjoyment from. I love to watch them swim or play at the beach. I love to peak into the dance studio to watch Katie attempt ballet. Riley loves to kick or throw balls around. And of course, they love to jump or ride their bikes through puddles. I love that. I guess that is my fun.

Me having my type of fun is not important right now. Life is not about me. But it is about being where God wants me and doing what He has called me to do. Right now it is raising my two girls and taking care of my incredibly hard working wife.

If it takes my  girls thinking that I do the dishes for fun, I guess I must be doing something right. 

Dad Gear Review: The BOB Stroller



I thought that I would do something different and present a product review. As a stay at home dad, I love items that make my life easier on me and my girls. But theproduct needs to work as advertised. Anytime a product can deliver on those two things, that is a good piece of Dad Gear.

In my mind there are only a few pieces of gear that are essential when you are out and about. The first would be a stocked diaper bag and the second would be a stroller. Now I have used many strollers from the umbrella stroller to the fixed wheel joggers but have not found one that surpasses the BOB line of strollers.

BOB Strollers come in a fixed front wheel style and the Revolution in which the front wheel can swivel or can be fixed for jogging. I will review the Revolution only.

For the sake of full disclosure, I have had 2 BOB Revolution strollers. A one single kid style and a double kid style. While I have not used the fixed front wheel version of the BOB, I would have to say that the swivel wheel is a must for going to the mall or the street festival. It can maneuver in very tight spaces even in the double stroller version. The cost is more for the Revolution but it is worth it when you are dodging Senior Citizens in the mall running to the bathroom before the advances made potty training will be lost with one accident.

The stroller has many storage compartments both for the pushee and the pusher. You can also purchase a handlebar console that has two drink holders and a small, zippered compartment. I have this for mine and I would recommend getting this option. Some other nice features are a foot operated brake, brake tether for jogging, a five point, padded seat belt system, removable wheels so the stroller can be folded flat, an adjustable suspension, sun canopies, reclining seats and a front wheel adjustability feature for keeping the stroller in a straight line when jogging.

Options include infant car seat attachments for the major manufacturers, a matching color diaper bag, a wind screen, a sun shield and a fleece liner for cold walks or runs.     

I have not used the double stroller for jogging. I don't know if I want to push my two and five year old on a 3 mile run. A heart attack is not on the calendar for 2011. I have used the single kid stroller for a jog and it worked great. A little adjustment of the front wheel and we were off. They roll very well on roads as well as on grass or gravel. We take our double everywhere. It is tricky sometimes to fit it in places with a lot of people but it easier than carry two tired kids plus gear.

The double BOB Revolution is priced anywhere from $450 to $630 depending on the seller. The single is between $305 and $430. Even if you use the stroller for a few years, you will get your monies worth out of it. You can very easily sell a nice used BOB online or to any friends that jog and have kids. It's easy to find new moms who want to lose some weight.

I liked the BOB strollers so much, I bought two of them. So, on the Dad Gear Scale, the BOB Revolution Double gets an extra dessert after dinner.    

Pick C Sweetheart

Tomorrow will be a landmark day in the life of my daughter Katie. She will be going to her Kindergarten school to be tested. That's right.....tested. Now, I am not sure how I feel about this. It's not that I don't think that she isn't ready or smart enough for Kindergarten. It's just that it is Kindergarten!

Is this something new or has this gone on for awhile now? If I would have had to take that test when I was 5, I know I would not have been let in. I barely knew my name let alone the ABC's. I didn't even have to take the SAT to get into Graduate School. I applied, they asked why I would be a good candidate for a Masters Degree and I told them something that made them think I didn't need to take the SAT, the ACT, the GMAT or a GRE. Hmmm.....should I be admitting that?

Anyway, since she doesn't start until Fall, what if she could do better on the test in August? What if she goes from the middle of the pack to the top of the class? And if she does well, I wonder what that would look like on her CV? What if she does well now but forgets everything over the summer and gets held back? Oh, the humanity! I thought it got easier when they got to school.

So, if you are in Kenosha tomorrow around 4:00 p.m. and you hear "If you don't know the answer sweetie, pick C." That would be a proud dad of a potential Kindergartner. 

Sized Up

This is the first post for my blog. I hope that I can post on a regular basis given that I have a pretty busy schedule. Ah....but who doesn't now days. I will try to keep it interesting but to be honest there are days that are dull and mundane. So I apologize right off the bat. Well, with that said, here it goes.

On Saturday mornings Wendy and the girls go to Cricket Academy, a Chinese language school. So, I get the morning to myself. I usually work around the house or workout since I slept in. But today, I did some shopping since I can get it done in about a quarter of the time without the girls. Woodman's, Kohl's and The Children's Place at Southridge Mall in Milwaukee were my stops. It seems that we need to eat and Katie is growing without my consent. 

All went well but at The Children's Place I got 'The Look'. 'The Look' can be described as 'why is this 6'1" 230 pound guy shopping for girls clothes'. It can happen when I am with or without my girls but mostly it happens without. So, while looking for pants, one mom with two young kids, gave me 'The Look' and quickly gathered her little chicks under her wing for safety.

I understand why some moms react that way. The world is not a safe place and caution is a good thing. On the other hand, we do live a society where men can and do raise the kids and shop for clothes.  So moms, when you see a Clydesdale of a man shopping for girls clothes, it's OK. He is a stay at home dad.

Oh, and my oldest sized up from the T's to girls clothes. My wife and I shed a tear as she tried them on. They fit her perfectly.