Not Absent

There is no question that the absence of a father figure in a child's life causes many problems that can linger into adulthood. There is a documentary that is coming out called Absent that explores the lack of a father figure in a child's life and the damage that it does. In the documentary, a rock star, a model and a boxing champ discuss the effects of the absence of a father on their lives. To see a trailer of the film, go to: http://www.absentmovie.com/
In the trailer, the "father wound" is mentioned as the root cause of the problem. It is the wound that a father leaves behind when he leaves the family behind. With that wound, there is a void that needs to be filled. Unfortunately it is being filled with drugs, under age sex, criminal behavior, broken relationships and broken hearts. 

So what can a stay at home father do? Personally, I need to make sure my girls know that I love them and that I accept them for who they are. Now, I have two adopted girls who are not biological siblings. There is a genetic component to how they will develop as children and adults. So that means that they will have different likes, dreams, personalities and a different way to show and accept love.

While I don't ever plan on leaving them, I do need to make sure that I don't leave small wounds. I tell them that I love them even if it is in places that others can hear me. I am holding them and show affection whenever and where ever. And, I think most importantly for a man, is to accept them for who they are. If they are girlie and want to wear a dress to Walmart, let them. Or if they want to dig in an ant hill, why not.

Guys, even if you are a stay at home dad, I challenge you to not be absent in your kids life. It will pay off when it matters most.